Finally Home
by AlwaysEachOther
Summary: With her body pressed against mine, it finally hits me. Today could have been so much worse. I could have lost her. How could I ever live without her? Short Michael and Fi oneshot post 3.09 Long Way Back.


_Here's another story for you lovely people. I was meant to be writing an assignment, and this story literally wrote itself instead. There's procrastination for you. Thank you to those who review my stories, it inspires me to keep publishing these. This is set post Long Way Back, another one of my favourite episodes. I hope you enjoy it. As always, I do not own Michael, Fi, or anything from Burn Notice. The one line from the episode I have used does not belong to me. All belongs to Matt Nix and the writers of the show._

Finally Home

It's finally quiet. Too quiet. The silence descends upon the dark room like a thick blanket, leaving me with only my thoughts.

I turn my head to glance over at Fiona lying beside me. She typically sleeps on the other side of me, but her injury made that a bit difficult, so we'd changed our sleeping routine for the night. Her bandaged arm is draped over my chest, her head resting on the pillow, facing towards me. Her face is relaxed in her slumber, peaceful and serene for once. Her blank expression holds no evidence of the trauma she's encountered over the last twenty-four hours, thankfully. I'm glad she's able to sleep, she definitely needs it. Me, on the other hand, I can't silence the thoughts inside my head long enough to do so. I'm sure today will go down as one of the worst days I've ever had. I've worked in some tough situations before, alone or with my team, yet seeing Fiona facedown in the water was worse than all of my bad days put together.

My hand reaches across to stroke her hair gently. Despite the fact that she's right beside me, I find myself trying to prove that she is safe. She is though, and I'll spend the rest of forever making sure she stays that way. Especially since I'm now the reason she can't go home. Guilt over that thought grips at my heart, and I dread the conversation that will soon take place. Sean had told her after she had awoken, but I had been back at the loft retrieving supplies. Although that had been essential, it was also a bit of a coward move on my part. Sean told me on my return that she had been upset, understandably, but she had fallen back asleep and I'd carried her gently from the couch to my old room.

Fi stirs slightly, as I realise my hand is still tangled in her hair. I hastily draw my hand away, hoping she'll return to her state of unconsciousness. But of course, Fiona never does what you hope she will. It is the essence of her personality.

Her eyes flutter a few times before they manage to focus on me.

"Hey." She whispers.

"Hey." I whisper back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

She shrugs as best as she can. "It's ok, my arm woke me really."

"Do you need some more pain meds?" I ask, immediately on alert for what she may require.

She nods reluctantly. Fi doesn't enjoy being vulnerable, or admitting that she needs something, so she must still be in a decent amount of pain. I remind myself yet again that she's going to be fine as I grab the pills and glass of water from the table beside me.

She downs them quickly before handing them back to me and settling her head against my shoulder. I breathe a sigh of relief as I feel her body make contact with mine again. I'm not the affectionate type, and neither is she really, but we both need this right now. I came so close to losing her today.

We lie in silence for a few minutes before I manage to find the words I struggle to say.

"I'm sorry, Fi."

Silence follows my apology for a moment before she responds. "I know, Michael. It's ok."

"No, it's not. I'm the one that put you in danger, and now you can't go home because of me. You don't deserve any of it."

"True, but I'm still here." She turns her head to face me.

"Sometimes I can't figure out why." I whisper. I don't deserve her, I never have. Not even after today, but everything I've put her through over the last few months.

"You know why, Michael." Her eyes bore into mine, saying the words that neither of us have managed to say out loud before. The words that I had been so close to saying before everything fell to pieces and she was dragged away from me.

I press a kiss to her forehead gently. "I do, but it doesn't mean I understand it."

"Me either, sometimes." She admits. "But I know I belong here with you, now that you've managed to get your head out of your ass."

I have to chuckle at that. Only Fiona would equate getting my head out of my ass with shooting someone dead.

_Fiona is not my past._

I clench my eyes shut as I try to force away the memories of the day. I don't feel any remorse for killing Strickler, not after what he did to Fi, but his words still haunt me. I'm an expert at compartmentalising, so why isn't that working now?

"I'm sorry you had to do that." She tells me. She knows exactly what I'm thinking about. She always does.

"I'm not." I tell her. "I would do it again if I had to."

She smiles softly at me, and I know she understands. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself.

She presses a soft kiss to my lips. "That's why I know where I belong, Michael, because you came for me."

"I'll always come for you Fi."

Her eyes take on a slight sheen and she buries her face into the crook between my neck and shoulder. Her free hand clutches at my shirt.

With her body pressed against mine, it finally hits me. Today could have been so much worse. I could have lost her. How could I ever live without her?

I bury my face in the top of her hair, her scent invading all of my senses. Suddenly, I realise I'm sobbing, and she's the one comforting me. Her soft voice is all I can focus on, as I remind myself that she's here in my arms.

Time passes, and eventually I quieten down again, the room falling back into silence. Her hand strokes at my jaw, unable to reach my hair due to her injury. I take that hand in mine and press a soft kiss to it.

"I'm sorry I made you want to go back to Ireland in the first place." I tell her, thinking of everything I've put her through lately. I can't even imagine what I would've done if she'd actually left and returned home, the place where I had abandoned her all those years ago. I would have lost her then too, just in a different way.

"We learn from our mistakes, Michael. Let's just put it behind us now." With that, I know she's forgiven me, and we won't have to talk about it again.

Fiona yawns softly, her eyes falling shut and hand dropping to my chest. I kiss the top of her head again.

"You need to sleep." I tell her softly. I help her roll onto her back, and press myself against her uninjured side. Her body relaxes and she threads her fingers through mine, clasping our hands together.

We relax in the silence and I listen to her steady breathing, reminded again of how thankful I am. Suddenly, I have to tell her. I've always struggled with the words before, and I'm sure she knows, but I can't stand that thought that I almost lost her today and I never would've had the chance to actually tell her.

"I love you, Fi."

My words are so soft that if it weren't so silent in the room, she might not have heard me. But the grip on my hand tightens, so I know she has.

"I love you too, Michael."

Her words fill my ears, and my chest tightens, but not in the anxious way that it has been all day. Our words soothe me, and I finally drift off to sleep, content for the first time in the last few days.


End file.
